Moving On

When I was just 14 years old, I met the person who would become my other half for more than a quarter century. Who he was then and who he became were two slightly different people. Who I was and who I became were two vastly different people. Yes, growth is expected in every relationship, but what happens when the gap widens?

I won't make this a bash-my-ex post. This post is less about him and more about me. That abused, timid, bashful, insecure, easily influenced girl whose self-esteem was on the floor IS NOT the woman I am today. We still have some similarities, but I'm no longer her. She needed constant reassurance. She settled for far less than she deserved. She was envious of people who had what she lacked. She depended on others for her happiness. She made that young man, who she met at the tender age of 14, responsible for too large a portion of her life, her love, her happiness and her existence. She didn't know that she could be complete on her own.



It is now almost 30 years later and she has morphed into me. I am more confident. I'm more self-assured. I no longer settle for less than I deserve. I partner with those who have what I lack. I don't depend on others for my happiness. And most of all, that young boy who morphed into my ex is no longer responsible for my life, my love, my happiness or my existence. I'm moving on.

Moving on has been a long time coming. It's like keeping something around after its expiration date. Milk, yogurt, cheese, bread ... anything kept after its expiration date begins to spoil, and the longer you keep it, the worse it becomes. It starts to mold and stink and has to be discarded. I won't say that I discarded my relationship with him, but I did have to change the dynamics of it. I had to change the way I interacted with him. I had to change the role he played in my life. It wasn't fair to him or me to rely so heavily on him for so much. The best decision for us both was to move on.

Sharon C.
Sept 2016